Navigating Life's Curveballs: The Single's (Bad) Luck Edition
Feeling a bit overwhelmed by life’s curveballs when you’re single? I totally get it. This week, we’re diving into the nitty-gritty of what it’s like to navigate those tough moments without a partner to lean on. From a broken MacBook screen to a car that decided it was time to retire, I’m sharing my recent adventures of tackling life's little disasters solo. It’s like I’m on a one-woman mission to DIY my way through everything, and let me tell you, sometimes it feels like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. But hey, there’s a silver lining—being single teaches me resilience and resourcefulness like nobody’s business! So grab your favorite beverage and let’s chat about the ups and downs of single life, because trust me, I’m right there with you.
Life as a single person can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster ride, can't it? One moment, you’re on a high, feeling grateful for the freedom and independence that comes with being single, and the next, you’re down in the dumps, wishing for the support that couples seem to effortlessly enjoy. In this episode of "All About Being Single," I dive into the not-so-glamorous side of being single, sharing my personal stories of bad luck that have piled up like dirty laundry. From a broken MacBook screen that decided to throw a tantrum to my trusty car dying at the most inconvenient moment (thanks a lot, universe!), it’s been a wild few weeks. I chat about how these little disasters feel amplified when you’re flying solo, without a partner to share the burden.
But it’s not all doom and gloom! I also reflect on the silver linings that come with single life. Sure, I’m the only one shoveling my driveway after record-breaking snowfall, but hey, that’s a workout and a half! Plus, I get to make all the financial decisions without having to consult anyone else. It’s a mixed bag of challenges and triumphs, and I think it’s important to acknowledge both sides. So, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and let’s unpack the ups and downs of single life together, because sometimes, you just need to vent it out!
Takeaways:
- Being single often means we face challenges alone, especially when things go wrong.
- The financial burden of being single can feel heavier when unexpected expenses crop up.
- As singles, we learn to be self-reliant and develop valuable life skills through DIY projects.
- Support systems are crucial, but as singles, we often have to seek help from others outside our households.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Apple
Transcript
Are there ever times in your life when you just wish you had the support that coupled up people get?
Speaker A:Welcome back to All About Being Single.
Speaker A:I'm Violetta.
Speaker A:Let's dive into this next episode.
Speaker A:I promised you that I would talk about both the good and the bad of being single.
Speaker A:And last week we focused mainly on the good because we focus on what we're grateful for because it was Thanksgiving.
Speaker A:Now this week I'm basically just gonna complain the whole episode.
Speaker A:So thanks for being here with me.
Speaker A:Thanks for being my support.
Speaker A:I've just been having one of those unlucky streaks and this happens to me every few months where it's just a bunch of bad shit going wrong constantly.
Speaker A:And so I'm in the thick of it right now.
Speaker A:For example, my MacBook screen broke a couple weeks ago.
Speaker A:I literally had just three pieces of paper stapled that I placed inside of the MacBook and I closed it.
Speaker A:I do this with my other laptop all of the time, a non MacBook laptop literally all of the time.
Speaker A:Nothing bad has ever happened but the MacBook broke.
Speaker A:The screen literally fully broke just the first time of me doing that.
Speaker A:And I did go to Apple and the price to fix it is pretty expensive so we'll see if I fix it.
Speaker A:For now I just decided to get a monitor so cuz I am still able to like use the Mac and it's a powerful Mac.
Speaker A:Like I definitely went with a good version of the Mac so for now I'm just going to be able to use it and that's literally what I use to edit this podcast and I want to start doing more.
Speaker A:I actually want to start putting this on YouTube as well and I do definitely need a powerful Mac for that.
Speaker A:So for now it is what it is.
Speaker A:And then Thanksgiving happened the day after.
Speaker A:So Black Friday.
Speaker A:Technically my car died.
Speaker A:Thankfully my neighbor across the street was outside and was freezing, but he was outside doing some.
Speaker A:He always goes to the extreme with the way he puts up the Christmas decorations.
Speaker A:Very pretty.
Speaker A:I love watching them because I love Christmas, my favorite holiday.
Speaker A:But anyhow he was outside.
Speaker A:It took me about 15 minutes to go up and even think about if I want to go and ask somebody to help me jump the car just because I feel like because I am single as far as my neighbors go, I'm always the one asking them for help and they're all.
Speaker A:They all have families, they all have a significant other so they never ask me for help.
Speaker A:So I just always feel like it's that unbalanced relationship.
Speaker A:But I did end up asking him, literally got a little bit of coffee, drank, then went and asked him for help.
Speaker A:And he was more than kind, came by, jump started the car and then he told me where to go to get it fixed by our house.
Speaker A:And super amuse.
Speaker A:It just, it worked out.
Speaker A:So it worked out perfectly.
Speaker A:And thankfully the shop didn't.
Speaker A:Especially because the moon didn't try to like get me to buy a bunch of other stuff.
Speaker A:All I needed was a new battery, so they replaced it.
Speaker A:That got fixed.
Speaker A:And when I can't afford something, I have to pay with my own time, you know.
Speaker A:So there is a lot of DIY stuff that I do, which yeah, I've definitely done a lot of over the, over time.
Speaker A:I actually did need to finish up a couple of things in my main bathroom.
Speaker A:So I did that the other day by myself.
Speaker A:I painted a little bit.
Speaker A:My mortgage payment went up by like a hundred dollars a month.
Speaker A:Then my student loans also went up by a little bit over a hundred dollars a month.
Speaker A:And then it's winter time and I will live in the Midwest.
Speaker A:So the other day we had like record breaking snowfall in November.
Speaker A:There was I think more than 8 inches of snowfall.
Speaker A:So I had to shovel that all by myself because I am a homeowner.
Speaker A:You know, it's either pay somebody else to do it or do it by myself.
Speaker A:And I'm really not trying to complain that much.
Speaker A:Like, I do have a very good 9 to 5.
Speaker A:So it's not like my finances are horrible, but again, it is.
Speaker A:I live on one paycheck.
Speaker A:And basically when, you know, when there's like a lot of hits to the finances or like a lot of bad luck stuff that happens, it's kind of like the singles tax, which we'll talk about one of these future episodes.
Speaker A:But basically, you know, for me as a single, if I have to pay for something all at once, it definitely feels like more of a hit than if I was splitting finances with somebody else.
Speaker A:And a hill I'll die on is that couples truly don't realize how much more expensive life is and how much more it sucks when bad things happen and you have to pay, you know, for these unexpected expenses.
Speaker A:It just, it hits you more as a single who's living by themselves because again, there's nobody else to cushion that blow.
Speaker A:You know, couples really have no like to stand on when bad things happen.
Speaker A:When bad things happen to us and, and they think it's not a big deal.
Speaker A:Or people that live with other people, they think it's not that big.
Speaker A:A deal.
Speaker A:Because, yeah, they, you know, they take for granted the fact that somebody else they live with has maybe the money to help, to help them land on their feet, or they have a partner who can jump the car so they don't have to ask virtually a stranger to do it for them.
Speaker A:You know, they don't have to constantly rely on other people who aren't people that they live with to help them with doing stuff.
Speaker A:Essentially, when bad weeks happen, it just tends to feel a lot bigger when you're single because you're the only one absorbing all of the impact.
Speaker A:Like, I don't get to divide that stress by 2.
Speaker A:It's all on my plate.
Speaker A:It's all stuff that I have to figure out.
Speaker A:Nobody's there, you know, next to me.
Speaker A:Go and sit down, I got this, you know, or let's figure this out together.
Speaker A:I don't have that kind of support because I am single.
Speaker A:And yes, there are people that I can turn to.
Speaker A:There are people that I can maybe text or call, you know, and vent to, which is nice, but doesn't solve the problem.
Speaker A:There are, you know, like, my parents will help me out financially wise if, if need be.
Speaker A:So, you know, I do, again, I do have.
Speaker A:I know I'm grateful that I have a family, that I have friends who are able to and extend help, but overall, I don't have that built in everyday support system.
Speaker A:And as singles, especially those of us who also live by ourselves, who aren't just single as far as our relationship status, we also live by ourselves and we have to take care of our household by ourselves.
Speaker A:Definitely things can hit a lot harder.
Speaker A:However, you know, once the dust settles, once I'm like, able to logically think about all these bad things that have happened, I'm always like, okay, well, at least I'm not stuck in a toxic or abusive relationship.
Speaker A:Which would make all these bad things that are happening to me even worse because I would be in a bad place mentally at that point.
Speaker A:And I'm not with somebody who's maybe financially abusing me.
Speaker A:You know, somebody who's either better budgeting or somebody who is hoarding the money.
Speaker A:Somebody who, like, I think I've read a story one time about somebody who was dating somebody and they kept giving them half of the money for rent while they didn't know that that person owned that house, so they just thought they were renting.
Speaker A:Well, they were basically helping them pay for their mortgage unknowingly.
Speaker A:You know, my house is in my name only, so nobody but the bank can take it away from me or I guess a natural disaster.
Speaker A:But I do live in Illinois, so fewer chances of a natural disaster taking it.
Speaker A:Like, I can always choose where my money will go towards.
Speaker A:I don't have to ask a partner permission for what I can spend my money or quote, unquote, our money on.
Speaker A:And by diying a bunch of stuff, technically, you do become, at least I believe that you become so much more resilient and confident by being able to, like, learn new skills, especially house managing skills that a lot of people will never get because they do live with somebody.
Speaker A:So they just rely on that person to do all of that stuff.
Speaker A:And you do also learn to ask for help of strangers.
Speaker A:So you learn to put yourself in positions where you're maybe not comfortable with, but then you learn those skills of how to negotiate things a little bit better, of how to just ask for help.
Speaker A:And if you do a lot of DIY stuff or just, you know, you do own your own house, all those skills, it's kind of like a college degree.
Speaker A:Nobody can take that away from you.
Speaker A:You're always gonna somehow at least maybe not always remember the skills, but at least always know.
Speaker A:As far as, like, the snow shoveling.
Speaker A:I keep joking, but I actually do mean it.
Speaker A:Technically, that is my workout for the day.
Speaker A:So did it suck to have to shovel twice the day?
Speaker A:I had to do it and be out there just by myself while I'm watching the neighbors next to me, Two kids do most of the shoveling, then their father later on come out and do a tiny bit of shoveling.
Speaker A:Yeah, you know, sucks a little bit.
Speaker A:But also I'm like, no, at least I'm getting a great freaking workout out of it.
Speaker A:I don't have to exercise.
Speaker A:I don't have to go to the gym that day.
Speaker A:Not that the streets were good enough for me to go anywhere, but still.
Speaker A:And with the laptop dying, yes, it sucks.
Speaker A:Yes, I don't really have that extra money to be able to spend.
Speaker A:It's like almost $1,000 just to fix it.
Speaker A:So it does suck that I can't just fix this goddamn thing.
Speaker A:But also, if I was in a relationship, instead of spending money on, like, a Christmas gift for a significant other, I can start putting money away so that maybe at some point I am able to fix my MacBook.
Speaker A:Or I can just buy a new one when it's time.
Speaker A:So for our note to self, what has felt heavy for you recently because you're single and you have to carry almost all of it, if not all of it alone.
Speaker A:Take about a minute while we do our weekly dance.
Speaker A:And by we I mean me because travels nowhere around.
Speaker A:But yeah, think on that.
Speaker A:Write it down.
Speaker A:Maybe speak it out loud to yourself or just think about it.
Speaker A:What's something that feels heavy for you recently because you're single?
Speaker A:Also, if any of this is resonating with you, please follow the show.
Speaker A:I put out episodes every Tuesday as of right now.
Speaker A:It comes out sometime Tuesdays because I usually do a little bit of editing Tuesday mornings before I go to work.
Speaker A:I'm going to do my best to to finish the episode editing Sundays moving forward so that you guys, whenever you're on your way to work or whatever it is, the episode will be out.
Speaker A:I'm gonna try to just put it out around like 2am in the morning just so no matter what time you get to work, it's there when you get in your car.
Speaker A:But I'll be back after the dance break.
Speaker A:Sam, Hi, I'm back.
Speaker A:Please take a moment to share this episode with a friend that you think might benefit from listening to what I'm talking about.
Speaker A:I really appreciate you listening and I also appreciate you sharing this with anybody else that you know that's single.
Speaker A:I'm not going to talk much more about what's, you know, what else feels heavy for me because obviously financial issues lately have been feeling heavy for me and sometimes it just is what it is.
Speaker A:I'm going to call it the singles lock cuz a lot of bad happens and then I the single have to take care of it and it just, it sucks in the moment and I feel it in the moment.
Speaker A:But then I'm like, well nobody's coming to save me.
Speaker A:I don't have that support built in.
Speaker A:I have to just handle it.
Speaker A:And I do.
Speaker A:And I do it every time.
Speaker A:And I know you do too.
Speaker A:I know there's a lot of stuff that you go through as a single that feels heavy and you don't have that extra support.
Speaker A:And I see you and I think you're brave, I think you're resilient, you're resourceful, you're self sustaining, you're not dependent on anybody else but your own damn self.
Speaker A:Just know that sometimes we have to reach out for that support elsewhere.
Speaker A:And I'm hoping that this can be a community that we can keep building so we can support each other while we're single.
Speaker A:And now let's finish off this episode.
Speaker A:So this week what I challenge you to do is just reframe all the quote unquote bad stuff that's happened to you recently that has felt heavy that you don't have much support for.
Speaker A:And it could be something as generic as I do everything by myself, but I still get it done and I'm learning life skills while I'm at it.
Speaker A:Or it could be something specific like I have to cancel Netflix because I am not sharing any subscriptions with anybody else and it's just too much in my budget right now and the reframe could be.
Speaker A:You know what?
Speaker A:That's going to give me a lot more time to go outside, take some walks and just feel better and reflect on my life versus sitting and watching something mindlessly.
Speaker A:I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode, on anything that I can improve, anything I can do that you think might benefit single people more.
Speaker A:Just your general thoughts about the episode.
Speaker A:The if you want to share any of, you know, your reframes or any of the stuff that has been heavy for you lately, please feel free to send me a voice memo.
Speaker A:Go to all about being single.com and drop them there.
Speaker A:I hope you always remember that even if we're late, we're right on time.
Speaker A:Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you next Tuesday.
Speaker A:Have a good week.
